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I’ve always dreamt of being a Mommy

I’ve always dreamt of being a Mommy ever since I was a little girl. I didn’t understand the whole “how to get pregnant” thing (because hi, I was like 5 years old), but I would pray and ask God for a baby. To be honest, I would literally pray for God to “plant a seed in my tummy so I could have a baby”…because according to my child-like imagination, that’s how it happened. LOL! I would put a big bouncy ball under my shirt, and play with my baby dolls. My number one dream in life was to be a Mommy…nothing else. I mean maybe once in a while I would dream of becoming a princess or something, but a Mommy was always the top thing for me.

(Shop my God is Good reversible sweatshirt here)

One of my preschool kiddos (you know, back when I taught) had told me “If you were my mommy, you would be the best mommy in the whole world.” This is the same girly who told me several times that there was a baby in my tummy. I had no idea, but she was actually right.

However, if you have been here for a while, you might already know that my thoughts were once more full of fear than anything for a long while whenever I thought about pregnancy (not about labor, or motherhood, but about pregnancy). But, my heart ached for a child, especially when I would be around my nephews and other children. Like when I would pick up Gio from school, I always think to myself “gosh, I can’t wait to have my own kiddos to pick up from school.” I started praying about this fear I had a lot last year because I knew that I had to get over it if I ever wanted to have a child of my own. I don’t really know what made me fearful of it, but I think it was really fear of the unknown, since obviously I’ve never been pregnant before. But just like everything else in my life, I started to trust God about this whole thing and was faithful. I have so much faith about everything else, why wouldn’t I be faithful about this?

Early October, I got off birth control pills. Michael and I had little conversations here and there about wanting to have a baby, and one day he just came home from work and told me that if I wanted to stop taking the pill, I could. I was shocked. I was excited. And I was a little nervous about what was to come, because I had no idea what to expect. I thought it would actually be a good time to get off of it because I had an appointment with my ob/gyn doctor in November. When I saw her in November I still hadn’t gotten a “regular period” after coming off of the pill and she told me that was okay, but if I still hadn’t gotten one in the first week of December, I would have to go in for blood work. So, the first week of December came and I still hadn’t seen a visit from my (not so nice) friend, so I went in for the blood work. If you remember, this was my first time ever getting blood work and I was petrified. I was so scared. But I did it, and I was proud of myself for 1. going to get it done, and 2. for going by myself. Long story short, my blood work came back normal and my doctor prescribed me some medication to take in order for me to get a period but I decided not to take that medication and just to wait for my friend to naturally arrive, praying it would soon.

I knew this year would be a really really good year for Michael and I because he is pursuing a new career, and I prayed that this would be the year for Baby V, but I just had no idea that it would all actually happen!

On January 23rd, it was day three of the “flu” that I thought I had going on. This “flu” knocked me down and had me feeling so nauseous. That nausea and exhaustion still wasn’t ANY better by day 3, so I was a little weirded out about it because I’ve never had a flu like this before. So I thought to myself, “well, maybe it isn’t the flu, maybe I am pregnant.” But really, I didn’t think the test would actually be positive, but for some silly reason, something deep inside me had some hope and told me to just take a test.

Around 10:30 that morning I got off of the couch, went to the bathroom, and peed on one of those tests (I had one package with two tests inside). I really really wanted it to be positive but I knew that if it hadn’t been positive that it would be okay and we could just keep trying. I went to turn the test facing down after I peed on it so I wouldn’t be staring at it for what felt like a million years, but I instantly saw another line. A second line? Could it be? After literally one second of just peeing on it? How could this be? I walked out of the bathroom and rubbed my eyes because I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me or something, walked back in and grabbed the test. I went a little crazy and searched good old Google for “pictures of positive pregnancy tests” because I literally couldn’t believe it. (HAHA). So in my shocked state of mind, I took another test. This second test was to “double check” the results and actually would show the words “yes” or “no” on it after 3 minutes so my eyes couldn’t play tricks on me if it said a clear yes after taking that one, right? 3 minutes went by and let me tell you, it felt like forever, but then that three letter word lit up that little screen and confirmed that I AM PREGNANT! I instantly started crying and just stood in front of the mirror for like 10 minutes saying “I’m pregnant!”

I called my sister, still bawling my eyes out and got in the car to go to her house. At this point, she was the only one that knew because I didn’t want anyone else to know before Michael, but how could I not tell a single soul? I was so excited, so shocked, and just felt SO MUCH JOY in that moment! But, I strangely didn’t want to get “too excited” because if my calculations were correct, I was barely 4 weeks pregnant, which was so very early. Turns out, I wasn’t 4 weeks, but 7 weeks. Which is why I was feeling all of those symptoms of exhaustion and nausea.

I don’t have any cool videos or anything of revealing to anyone that we are pregnant, but I know that I will never forget those moments. The day I found out was a Thursday, so I only had to wait one more day to be able to surprise Michael with the good news. I knew I wanted to tell him in a cute way, so I went to Michael’s Craft Store, bought a baby onesie and some iron on letters, a box, and a chalkboard sign. I had some ideas in my mind, but ultimately I searched Pinterest because there are always such good ideas on there! I ended up making him a onesie saying “you’re going to be a daddy” and writing “only the best husbands get promoted to daddy” on the chalkboard sign. I put it all in the box with my two pregnancy tests and put them on the kitchen counter so he would be able to see it when he walked in the door on Friday night. Along with that, I picked him up some Chinese food (the one day he didn’t want pizza on a Friday, lol!) so I had that large bag on the counter next to his surprise with a sign saying “welcome home” (I always make him a sign every week), and also next to some brownies that I baked for him. I wondered what he would see first when he walked in the door, lol!

Of course, he saw the chalkboard sign and said “you’re pregnant!?! I knew it!!! I told you it wouldn’t take a long time!!!” It was the best. I am so glad that I was able to surprise him in a cute way and not just tell him through text or something. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret if I had the chance to talk to him, but where he is all week I cannot talk to him at all or anything (there is no communication at all), so I had no choice other than to keep it a secret until he got home Friday night!

That night we went over to my parent’s house with a plate of brownies and a sign on them that said “Mimi and Poppy you’re going to be grand parents again”! I handed the brownies to my Mom and she read Mimi and Poppy and laughed a little bit like why does it say that and then read the whole thing and was like what! My parents were so surprised and of course happy. We told Michael’s parents after church that Sunday afternoon and his parents were also excited.

We are thanking God a million billion times that it didn’t take us very long to conceive, it is really such a blessing. I know that there are many of you (some of my very good friends) struggling with trying to get pregnant, and infertility. My heart goes out to you and we are praying for you if you are struggling right now. I had no idea how long it would take us, and had no idea if we could even have our own children. But, Michael would always reassure me that we will and we wouldn’t have any problems or anything. and I just trusted that it was all in God’s timing just like everything else in our life.

God is so good you guys. He is SO GOOD!

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